1st place in Derby #90: Almost, with 967 votes! T-Shirt

Posted on 17. Apr, 2009 by in Shirt.Woot

1st place in Derby #90: Almost, with 967 votes!

The 1st place in Derby #90: Almost, with 967 votes! T-Shirt is the daily shirt at Shirt.Woot.

Artist: skirochester

Price: $10.00

Condition: Pulped

Product: American Apparel – 1 Cream Woot Tee

Size:

Description: Picture it: you’ve got a cush job at one of America’s fastest-growing retailers. All you have to do every day is write a few product descriptions and blog posts and stuff like that, and your innate wit and verbal acuity make it easy. You float into work each morning supremely confident that whatever assignment they throw at you, whatever product you have to wax funny about, you’ll be able to fling a few pithy quips at it and call it a day. Then this shirt wins the Derby. And you realize that all your little jokes are trivial in the face of ecological catastrophe. But you’ve still got to earn your paycheck, so after much agonizing and many false starts, you write these: Wear this shirt: when you’re eating fast-food burgers and drinking from a styrofoam cup while you drive your SUV to your job clubbing baby seals. Don’t wear this shirt: while you’re chained to a tree to try to save old-growth forest. This color really soaks up blood. This shirt tells the world: “Everyone makes mistakes. That’s why pencils have erasers. And bulldozers are kind of like God’s erasers. He must’ve made those forests on accident.” We call this color: Cream Dioxide.

Wear this shirt: when you’re eating fast-food burgers and drinking from a styrofoam cup while you drive your SUV to your job clubbing baby seals.

Don’t wear this shirt: while you’re chained to a tree to try to save old-growth forest. This color really soaks up blood.

This shirt tells the world: “Everyone makes mistakes. That’s why pencils have erasers. And bulldozers are kind of like God’s erasers. He must’ve made those forests on accident.”

Buy this 1st place in Derby #90: Almost, with 967 votes! T-shirt at Shirt.Woot or let us know what you think of the design as a comment on our blog.

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