And then the hyenas and vultures get the cheap candy nobody wanted.
The And then the hyenas and vultures get the cheap candy nobody wanted. T-Shirt is the daily shirt at Shirt.Woot.
Artist: Emily Kuznia
Condition: Ethnic Pride
Product: American Apparel – 1 Lemon Woot Tee
Description: There’s a very specific order in the hunt. A savage beauty. Once one becomes familiar, it is easy to see where and how it begins. Slowly, the females go out, one at a time and patiently. They find the herd and then take positions in the tall grass, downwind. Quickly noticed, of course, but their very scent petrifies the piÃ±ata with fear. Soon the hunters can see clearly which piÃ±ata is the weakest, and which piÃ±ata is likely to be filled with the very best candy. It is only then that they strike as one. When the lionesses raise up, the herd becomes frightened. The piÃ±ata circle and block each others paths. The herd begins to split. All together, they would likely survive. But the piÃ±ata lack tactical reasoning, so soon they are hanging by a thread. And then, suddenly, the male lions arrive. They lack the grace of the lionesses, but their sheer weight and mass drag the most vulnerable piÃ±ata to the ground. Again and again they strike, taking turns. And then, the well-placed strike, and it is done. The prey is down. Then the young appear, running playfully towards the carnage. The females keep them back for their own safety, for now, it is the job of the alpha to find the weakest point and tear in. The alpha lion shakes the open carcass between his jaws and candy goes flying. A sugar stick, a chocolate bar, maybe the occasional cookie or some pre-wrapped fruit snacks. The young and the females divide this up with relish but the alpha male pays them no mind. He digs, rends, tears to the very heart of the carcass for the only prize he could ever desire. For it is he alone that possesses the rights to the finest trophy the piÃ±ata has to offer. The delicious candy-coated gum. Wear this shirt: when you’re lion to yourself about how you don’t want any candy. Everybody wants candy. Everyone. Especially you. Don’t wear this shirt: because it depicts animal cruelty. Honestly, how can we condone a representation of animals eating a representation of another animal? Have we no souls? You ask us, this place has been going downhill on a rocket ever since Amazon took over. This shirt tells the world: “Eat too much candy and you’ll have to loosen your veldt.” We call this color: Lemon Flavored Taffy
Wear this shirt:
Don’t wear this shirt:
This shirt tells the world:
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