The 3rd place in Derby #236: Watercolors, with 647 votes! T-Shirt is the daily shirt at Shirt.Woot.

Artist: ramyb

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Condition: Redeeming

Product: American Apparel - 1 White Woot Tee

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Description: One hundred years ago there was a savage warrior. No one knew who had taught him the craft, and no one knew where he had begun to kill. All they knew was that one day, he had walked into the village with no life in his eyes and the blood of his enemies staining his armor and hair. And then, without stopping, he climbed to the halfway point of a nearby mountain where the gods were said to live. Quickly the mountain was covered in clouds. And no one saw the savage warrior again. Over the days ahead the gentle town wondered what they should be doing. This savage warrior had stood at the front of many wars, slaughtered many armies. His name was known to every general and every king. And the rumor was he had found no true challenger on the Earth, so had walked to storm the very gates of Heaven itself. Were they in danger? Was there any risk? But none of them were brave enough to cross into the clouds. Fearfully, they waited. In a month, the clouds moved away. A few of the braver townspeople decided to walk up the mountain and see for themselves. As they neared the halfway point they saw scars across the rock, like a great whip had fallen. As they neared the peak they saw strange glowing rings too heavy to lift, as though an impossible armor had been chipped and broken. And at the very top of the mountain, they found an open space where the stone had been pressed down like wheat. And at the center of this space was a tree. Within a generation, the savage warrior’s name was forgotten. No one knows it today. His victories and conquests have all been pushed aside like the scraps from a poorly made meal. But on the top of that far away mountain, in the center of an unnaturally flat clearing, there still stands a tree. And that tree bends with branches that reach toward the sky, and the leaves still hang like bloody hair. Wear this shirt: because beauty extracts its own revenge. Don’t wear this shirt: too boldly. Remember, though art mortal. This shirt tells the world: “It’s not what we’ve done. It’s how we’re remembered.” We call this color: Time Can Turn A Dark Soul White

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The 2nd place in Derby #236: Watercolors, with 663 votes! T-Shirt is the daily shirt at Shirt.Woot.

Artist: omarfeliciano

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Condition: Combined

Product: American Apparel - 1 Creme Woot Tee

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Description: “Alright, we’re all here, Wheeler. What’s going on?” “Yeah, man, make it quick. I’ve got a lot to do in the hydroponic garden.” “Seriously?” “What? Oh whatever, you bunch of hypocrites. Everyone gets all high and mighty when I’m growing it, but no one seems to mind when it’s time to pass it around.” “Check it, guys. I need to talk to you about Mati.” “What about him?” “Did that f&%*ing monkey s%^$ in my bed again? I swear to Gaia, I’m gonna ring up a tornado and blast that monkey into the g&%$&n stratosphere.” “What do I look like, your laundry service? Check your own damn bed for monkey turds. No, I’m talking about the distribution of wealth in this organization.” “What’s the big deal? Five Planeteers so we cut everything five ways.” “Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about. That’s BS. I think Mati should only get half a share.” “Hey, f&*% you, man!” “Mati!” “Yeah, you think I didn’t know about your secret little meeting? Oh yeah, everybody thinks poor ol’ Mati will just hang out in his bunk, playing with his monkey!” “HAHAHA-” “I meant SUCHI, you a&&%$*e! My ACTUAL pet monkey! How could you idiots think I wouldn’t know about this? My ring gives me friggin’ telepathy.” “All I’m sayin’ is last week we were all in deep s%&^ takin’ on Dr. Blight, and NO ONE knew what to do until I whipped up a huge f&%&in’ fireball and blew her whole lab to kingdom come.” “Then I was able to bring in some waves from the ocean and put out the fire.” “And I buried the whole caustic mess with some sand.” “And I carried the smoke up into the atmosphere before anyone could breathe it in.” “And what did you do, Mati?” “Okay, so on ONE job I didn’t have anything to do.” “Yeah, what about the time before that with Mame Slaughter?” “Well that was-” “And that time Verminous Skumm was holding me hostage?” “Well, Kwame got there before-” “And when the Pinehead Brothers were-” “Okay! OKAY! I get it! You know what?! FINE! Screw you guys! I’m outta here!” “Wow, that was rough.” “Yeah, but necessary.” “Who’s gonna wear the heart ring now?” “Who cares? Use it as a toe ring for all I care. We don’t need it.” “I get his monkey.” Wear this shirt: While making efforts to take pollution down to zero. Don’t wear this shirt: If you’re not fighting on the planet’s side. This shirt tells the world: “You can keep the good vibes and feelings and crap. I’m a person of action.” We call this color: The creme is yours!

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Buy this 2nd place in Derby #236: Watercolors, with 663 votes! T-shirt at Shirt.Woot or let us know what you think of the design as a comment on our blog.

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Buy this Nooo Darth Vader Shirt t-shirt at 80s Tees or let us know what you think of the design.

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Buy this Star Wars Fan Club Shirt t-shirt at 80s Tees or let us know what you think of the design.

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The 1st place in Derby #236: Watercolors, with 1076 votes! T-Shirt is the daily shirt at Shirt.Woot.

Artist: Patrickspens

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Condition: Swimming Upstream

Product: American Apparel - 1 White Woot Tee

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Description: Good news, everyone! Now you can try out wearing koi fish on your body before getting them permanently inked into your tender flesh! It happens to everyone. You want a tattoo because all the cool kids have them, but you don’t really know what to get. And then you think, “Hey, Koi fish tattoos are popular. That barista with the ring in her nose down at the coffee shop has one, anyway. I should get one of those.” And then you do a little research on the Internet and find that Koi swimming upstream sorta-kinda represents overcoming great adversity, which immediately reminds you of the time your Xbox got the Red Ring of Death. Oh yeah, dude. You’re getting a Koi Fish. But before you let some guy in a rockabilly shirt carve up your bicep with his needles, maybe you oughta think about trying on the Koi for size with this t-shirt. Wear around, show it off, and see if the barista smiles when you tell her how hard it was not being able to play Call of Duty for the three days it took you to buy a new video game console. If it works out, fantastic! And if you don’t like it, at least you can take the shirt off, you know? Wear this shirt: when you want to inspire your pet goldfish. Don’t wear this shirt: as you attempt to liberate the fish swimming in the local Asian buffet’s fountain. You’ll look suspicious. This shirt tells the world: “Just keep swimming.” We call this color: This Is A T-Shirt/It Has A White Coloring/The Jealous Crane Dies

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Buy this Cool Story Bro Cat In The Hat Shirt t-shirt at 80s Tees or let us know what you think of the design.

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Buy this Cupcakes Darth Vader Shirt t-shirt at 80s Tees or let us know what you think of the design.

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Buy this Force Be With You Shirt t-shirt at 80s Tees or let us know what you think of the design.

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The Yeah, there are plenty of great places to eat, but District 14 was just so much better before it gentrified. T-Shirt is the daily shirt at Shirt.Woot.

Artist: RobGlenn

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Condition: Sporty

Product: American Apparel - 1 Asphalt Woot Tee

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Description: I was here back in the day, you know, right BEFORE the war started. Yeah, there was nothing here then but the scene. And it wasn’t lame, back then it wasn’t all corporate like it is now. We used to hang out at this little candy store and the tributes were soda pop and chocolate bars. And we didn’t get weapons and instruction, we did it street-style. And if some other district came around, we sent ‘em packing. And now? Now I see these kids with their subplots about love and drama. I mean, where’s the authenticity? Not to mention nobody’s actually hungry any more. I walk to the candy store and I pass about twenty pizza places and that taco truck right by where they’re building the shopping mall. Yeah, the freaking shopping mall. I mean, don’t get me wrong, the tacos are great for sure, but it used to be about the GAMES. Now it’s just about getting your face on the television. You ask me, these kids haven’t ever been hungry in their lives. Wear this shirt: under your Twilight hoodie. It’ll segue very well. Don’t wear this shirt: when going to see District 9 at your local movie theater’s taco night. It’ll confuse everybody. This shirt tells the world: “Anyone feel like grabbing dinner first?” We call this color: Post-Apocalyptic Broken Asphalt All Over The Place

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Buy this Yeah, there are plenty of great places to eat, but District 14 was just so much better before it gentrified. T-shirt at Shirt.Woot or let us know what you think of the design as a comment on our blog.

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Buy this Catalina Wine Mixer T Shirt t-shirt at 80s Tees or let us know what you think of the design.

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